Perspective is a Choice.

How do parents of children with Autism determine what perspective they will take in relation to it? This is the question I find myself pondering in recent times. I wonder if the process of grief and acceptance changes for those who knew their child was different from a young age, versus those who say their child developed normally and then suddenly, as if overnight, slipped away, 'stolen' by Autism? Is it an individual response based on a naturally optimistic or pessimistic personality? Is it based purely on the childs presentation? The higher the functioning the more positive the parent? Do those who believe vaccines caused their childs Autism take a dimmer view of the diagnosis than those who do not? I find these interesting points to consider, yet have no answers.

Harri was born Autistic, there was no regression. And although I was distressed when his diagnosis of pdd-nos was confirmed, after reading further about Autism and learning that many on the spectrum were living happy and meaningful lives I was buoyed. It has never occured to me that my son will not be one of those people in the future. I know we have a hard road ahead, and that he will struggle in areas most do not, but I can't see the tragedy here. I can't fathom choosing a narrative that considers my son as defective, diseased and needing to be 'fixed'. Perhaps that's because he is at the milder end of the spectrum so far?

 I see more of his ASD emerge as time goes on. His flapping has become so frequent now I am going to have to put lead in his shoes to stop him flying away. His anxiety is also escalating, and he now cries at things that once simply bemused him. His need to control his environment and for repetiveness are becoming very entrenched, and his distress when this does not occur is also increasing. His abilty to focus is receding rather than increasing during therapy. His running off has also ramped up now he escapes the pram. His sleep remains an issue too. His destructive streak also continues unabated. So yes there's plenty of issues we are dealing with and learning to manage as time goes on. And all this reminds me that we are still yet to see the full presentation of Harri's Autism. Yet still I cannot anticipate anything other than a good outcome. Am I in denial? Maybe, but even if that is the case, the expectations I have of him mean that I do not lower the bar. He will be pushed to strive and accomplish. Something I might not do if I chose a different perspective. Why should I not expect him to prevail when so many others have despite their challenges? I understand that he and I are not viewing the world in the same way but I do assume intelligence and capacity for enormous progress. Why shouldn't I when so many before him have gone on to achieve so much? Even those who were once considered 'low functioning' or intellectually impaired.