The process of grief often involves a letting go of preconceived hopes. I didn't conjure up any great wishes for Harri's future that I had to now let go of. Except perhaps one. Clothes.
I had two girls before our little guy came along, and despite effort and encouragement they didn't go down the funky fashion path I hoped. Both were more attracted to girly, traditional styles. Parents of boys assured me that sons were easy to dress as they were not as clothing conscious as girls. With this in mind I have been trying to indoctrinate Harri while still young and impressionable into embracing a less 'straight' style than his conservative sisters. I thought I was making some headway. Then we get the ASD diagnosis.
Books tell me it is very common for ASD kids to become fixated on certain colours and textures. And stuck on certain clothing items allowing for little creativity. At this stage I still make all the clothing choices as he currently shows no preferences of fixations. Though I shudder to think what preferences may develop down the track. I have only spent time of any note with one Aspergers adult. At university there was a lovely guy who was probably as close to 'Rainman' as anyone you could meet. He had a head for numbers, loved cricket, was socially incompetent and always wore the same clothing. Slacks, cotton button up shirts with collar. Always with singlet underneath. And a terry towling hat.
When I imagine Harri in the future the image of the funky little dude is slowly being replaced by the possibility of a Forrest Gump, or worse, Luke Steele.